Wisdom from my Father

     There is a lot of emphasis on mothers and I certainly praise and agree that we should celebrate the women who gave us life; however, often, dads do not get the accolades they deserve. As Father's Day approaches, this is a good time to celebrate fathers and all of the good men in our lives. Whether it is your actual father, stepfather, surrogate father, uncle, cousin, friend, teacher, coach or whoever caused you to honor and respect men, celebrate them.  

    I am realistic and realize, many parental relationships are unhealthy, toxic and dysfunctional, but there are those that transcend dysfunction and have taught love, decency and respect.  Some men were not  raised by compassionate fathers, nor  had male role models, but figured out how to become good fathers.  This is a good day to thank and honor them.

     I had a great father and realize the value of his presence, consistency and wisdom in my life. Having a healthy father/daughter relationship makes it easier for me to convey my feelings to men or women.  I can speak my mind because what matters to me is worth conveying, even when it is not accepted by others.  My dad validated me, which gave me self worth, truth and healthy boundaries.  He taught me  there was no limit to anything I could do, if I was willing to do the work. 

     One of the greatest gifts, next to his love was the value of "no."  That someone's "no" is only as profound as you decide it is. Your "yes" is way more valuable and overrides the "nos" of life.  So, when people doubt you, it is just their opinion. My dad taught me to listen and not judge.  No matter what you feel about a thing, unless you are up close and personal, you really have no clue. People have a hard enough time without being judged and those who do judged are usually clueless anyway. 

     Other things that I learned like, don't react when others disapprove of you, just make the best decision you can and live with it.  Mistakes happen, but if you learn from them and don't repeat them, you gain wisdom. He was big on not sharing your problems and personal business with any or everyone. Be very mindful of who you give your heart  and your secrets to, make sure they are worthy.  During hard seasons, remember, trouble don't last alway. Folk don't need to look at you and immediately tell what you are going through.

     My dad was relatively quiet, so to get the essence of him, you had to spend one-on one time. Since his passing, those conversation are some of the most treasured of my soul.   He taught me to love and forgive unconditionally, although I can honestly say, both can be very hard at times. He said you cannot control other people but you can control how you react to them; however, he did not believe in keeping your enemies (haters) around.  Once you understood who they were, you could like them from afar, the farther the better. I honor my dad and all of the men who got it right.  I honor those who are still trying to figure it out.

     I celebrate dads who messed up and figured out that all children really want is your presence.  I celebrate the mothers who had to stand in dad roles and did so with excellence. I pray for children (adult children) who need to forgive dads. I pray for dads who harmed their children emotionally or provisionally to seek forgiveness. I ask you God to forgive alcoholic, abusive and addictive dads. I grieve for dads who molested their children and pray for  their repentance, deliverance and healing.  Finally, I give all glory to the best father of this world, God, in Jesus Christ.  Praise God that you are the father to the fatherless. We celebrate your Abba, Father, the one and the only God.

@cynthiacurry-wheniwassifted.com